Emotional Charge

If there is one thing I have found difficult in this journey it would be the emotional/mental co-arising experience which is discovered through self-inquiry. You develop this response to be with the interior experience before creating/reacting from it. Its a subtle line and takes practice to become conscious in the space between the feeling and the expressing of experiences. 

Upon become adept at this subtle practice its as if each moment comes with greater depth and dimension, with more to explore and be conscious of. We can begin seeing the causative paths which led to the interior experience, which lead to the meaning or belief being adopted. Life becomes an inter-connected, interactive matrix of noumena (thought-stuff) that as soon as our awareness touches it, it is transformed into something else (quantum laws?) of greater  capacity and potential. 

I think of it sort of like spring cleaning... or gardening. Maintaining the inner garden. Yea, I like that. Become a conscious participant in life rather then a series of grinding cogs. And its so interesting when we go within and witness the shattered self... the self which is not whole, and is chalk full of excuses of why it can't change. Its blatantly obvious. And insane because of how self defeating it is. 

Its also interesting that some of the stuff we find going within is so POWERFUL. Literally.. there are some idea's I've found creeping around in my subconscious that was coupled with such a dense emotional charge that it took some time to dissolve its binds and ties. Stories that were just believed for so long that emotional/mental grooves were indented into the algorithms of our behavior. Dissecting and dissolving this programming (which in some cases is ANCIENT [see that as Race Consciousness] in origin)  requires vigilance. By being on top of this process we can make ground in healing a great deal of what we've been holding on to. 

Its like that computer game Minesweeper. You hit the right block and you can uncover dozens at a time. Just keep in mind that the operations of phenomena is governed by Cause and Effect, so be sure to get to the cause of these patterns rather then attempting to change effects through effect.